To Doubts That Cage My Craze

How do I handle my heart when it comes to him?

How do I handle the break when I think of him?

Will he accept my age, my face,

The norms appropriated by my race?

Doubts that cage my craze,

You may dissolve with my energy jails,

For my fear has been overthrown by rage.


~ Irriesse Chia
copyright 2016

My "Hand of God" In Motion

21April 2016:

Shocked to hear, since he just emailed me 5 days ago & cheekily hinted that he & Mrs would descend on us soon from Sri Lanka & I'd better be available to meet them! Then, on this day, I received news that he passed away. There was no indication of illness as he lived a healthy vegetarian life, a big and strong man in his 70's, although his legs had been feeling weaker.

Just about 6-7 months ago in October 2015, I got the idea to ask him to read & write an endorsement for the book I wanted to publish. What luck I had then as he said he was transiting in our city for a day before flying off to Vietnam. He was the first person to read through my finished manuscript of "Then True Love Comes." Soon after, he went on a cruise ship to Vietnam, and while on the ship, he did his best to email me the endorsement, & apologized that it was hard to get internet access in the middle of the sea!

Now I know the Hand of God put him in my life about 16 years ago, and this time, I am so honoured as he left a legacy of my memory of him in my book, which was published in January 2016. Now, 4 months later, he is gone to another dimension ~~

~~ the man, whom 16 years ago, 

saw thru my persistence to see him 

& ask him 

what he was going to do with us now 

that he has become GM of Production, 

& couldn't repeat himself enough 

retelling the story to me every year we meet, 

who promoted me to Head of Dept in Astro 

-- my father-mentor -- 

the one who united a team of boys & girls in Astro, 

who engineered the recolouring of Shaw Brothers' old black&white films for Celestial Channel,
who used to ask wide-eyed "Do I know you?"
after I avoided seeing him for some time,
who used to ask "Would you rather be a Lady of Leisure?"
every time I come to him with a complaint,
who used to stick Smileys on our reports,
who sent us on our first & only department trip to TVB Hong Kong,
who sends me Christmas cards every year,
who generously wrote an endorsement for my book
and genuinely cares about me,
he deserves unlimited credit for a life worth living.
Thank you forever.

Now I understand that 
all those years ago when our paths first came together, 
you were my "Hand of God" in motion.