The Other Questions Did Not Matter

My life changed the day I decided I must do what I want to do.

And what I want to do are stuff that cost money to do, with risk involved, expected loss, and not to mention, embarassment after doing it. 

Years pass and these were the things I always wanted to do, but life was just not happening for me. And thus, after having gone through some of the most terrible times life had to offer, I decided I had to do the things I always wanted to do, because life has been terrible anyway. So why live more life with no satisfaction?

The poetry that I had writtten over the years -- starting with an accidental class at college in which I had enrolled in with the hopes of becoming a good fiction writer -- saw me forced into writing poetry instead by the professor, Herb Scott. I didn't even like poetry, which I thought was boring. 

But I was shocked at the A's that I kept receiving from Prof for each of my poems. After all, I was the only Asian in a small class of about 20. And in every class, I was so nervous as we had to read our poems out loud for others to critique. I stuttered a little as I wasn't even comfortable speaking English in front of Americans.

But what do you know? The more I wrote, the more I liked writing poetry. 

So, years and years later, I thought, there must be a reason for me to write them. I began to yearn publishing them. But this world is not a world for poetry...which belongs to a niche -- selected literary enthusiasts. 

Who would buy? But first, who would publish? Who would read? Wouldn't it be a waste of hard-earned money that I didn't have? "Is it worth doing?" my friends asked.

These were the questions that I asked myself for so many years. 

These were also the questions that stopped the dream. 

Well, this year, I finally decided to stop asking those questions. Because what I really wanted to do was to publish my book of poetry. The other questions did not matter. All I had to do was to find the means to publish the book. The other questions did not matter. 

The other questions did not matter. 

The other questions did not matter.