I Deserve To Be Wealthy

I struggle with the idea that I deserve to make money. 

Why do I say that?

This is what I have realized lately. After the prompting from my closest confidant, I decided to propose a fee which is double of what I used to earn every month, to a millionaire who had sought my services for his upcoming project.

I would never be the one who takes advantage of someone. On the contrary. I always sell myself short. And I am unhappy about doing that.

Because I can do so much. I can't deny that I have been blessed with multiple talent, skills and years of experience gained through dedication, long hours, mistakes, failures, betrayals, analyzing my shortfalls and climbing up again.

Producing, directing, managing, running a company, budgeting, editing, writing, singing, composing, dancing, music, artistic sense, casting, styling, media release, marketing, branding, positioning, spiritual learning, ....no kidding, I have to touch most of these areas in whatever I do. 

So after submitting the initial proposal for my services, my confidant took a look at it and said that my workscope as the project director is so huge that I deserve to put a high price for my services -- not overpriced, but really what I deserve. Not only that, because these services will take up most of my time. 

But after I sent the proposal to the millionaire, I worried when I did not receive any reply immediately. Several days later, I received a call, and met up with the potential client. He discussed the timeline and the project's expected job with me but did not immediately agree with the fee I asked for, and instead, he wanted to re-propose a package fee for me within the next week. 

So, I was a little disappointed. But that night itself I went out to celebrate with a full Korean bbq dinner. After all, I am practising the vibration of wealth, and this was something at the back of my mind that I was aware of, which kept trying to win over the devil in my head that this was the only job available and which had the potential to pay me the kind of money I deserve. 

I work on my own. I have a company. Ever since I quit corporate employment, I've struggled with the idea that I deserve a high personal income. 

This is because outside of the big corporate employer, other partners and clients that I have met are always trying not to pay us. ??? Or always trying to pay us less than what we deserve. ???

But, but, but food price have gone up years ago....and so has the price of homes and cars...toll and taxes and more taxes...

Why do I have to lower my income?

Six months ago, a close friend who was pushing me to take a job with his potential investor said that I was too expensive, and chided me about asking for such high pay at a time when the economy is down.

I got so offended. That meant that I didn't get any job from him. And they proceeded to launch their new company and project without me.

So there I am, Miss "I'm So Old & Senior & Experienced & Award Winner & So Brilliant That You Could Not See..." should I stoop so low as to only ask for pay that is only worthy for somebody with 1/4 of my experience and talent?

So, what happened to all the spiritual teachings I have had about aligning with myself (but I have to accept menial pay or the economy is not doing well and nobody will pay this kind of money for a person like me or I am living in the wrong country?)

So I still have not gotten any answer yet about the job with the millionaire.

But I just took this time of no-income-in to deal with myself. Am I going to accept that I do not deserve to be paid highly and that nobody would pay me that highly?

I am adjusting my expectation -- not to lower my expected income, but instead I am adjusting my expectation that the income and the wealth that I desire will come through many ways...many, many ways...and I deserve to be wealthy....I deserve to be wealthy...my wealth comes through many, many ways ... unconditional abundance.